tonight is the night

SEX AND THE CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WI

so today was the last day in my first membership book...I lost 1.8...bringning me to 71lbs lost in 26 weeks....OMG

WI tomarrow

Looking forward to tomarrow's meeting..WI im actually looking forward to it whatever teh results are..i know i didnt have a totally OP week and thats ok...even if i stay the same i will be ok....i would love love love tolose 0.8 so i can hit my 70lb mark but if itsnot in the cards its not...loser vibes to all weighing in today and tomarrow!

Self Sabotage

I have lost 69.2lbs i know i can do this....Why am i making it hard this week....am i getting cocky or am i scared that i will reach my goal??!...eating shit i shouldnt and normally wouldnt...god i hate this!!!

Aerobic Striptease

So about 3 months ago I started doing the Carmen Electra Strip Aerobics...FANTASMIC!!
You concentrate so hard on the moves that you dont even realize your working out but by the time your done your sweatin somethin major...Im starting to notice a big difference..my waist is goin in and my hips are curving nicely...and i fell so much more comfortable with my body and how its changing. And it must be said that when im at goal i may have a new future on my hands lol jk jk....I really recomend it to all women who want to work out and feel sexy at the same time...and i recomend it to all you bf's, and husbands who want a little spice from your ladies!! There is 6 or 7 dvds in all and right now im on Fit to strip which is a little higher impact than aerobic striptease.....All i can say is Watch out MR. STARBUCKS!!

Sex and The City

As i sit here watching Season 5 on my cousins laptop..I wonder what My life as a single girl would be like without this show.....would i have learned many of the valuable lessons about men that I have learned over the years...I am well aware that apart from Gay men and men who just watch it to see sex that for the most part men hate the show..Because its true!.. I would have never learned the "hes just not that into you" philosophy which has saved me many a sleepless night and many a drunken call. Most of us have our "big" and our "Aidan" and some of us even have our "burger". I don't know if i would have made it through some of my toughest break ups without this show...I'm sure alot of people wont understand..but i know 3 ladies who definitely will...My Carrie (Natalie), My Samantha (Jessica), And my Miranda (Sarah)..of course that leaves me to be Charlotte..eternally optimistic and always seeing the good in situation and always the hopeless romantic. What men don't like about this show is the fact that it has given single women the opportunity to date and act like men do all the time..It has given women a voice about sex, and relationships, and fucked up situations...Being Single at 26 is ok....I don't have to be married, and i don't have to be tied down or want kids(not saying i don't want those things..just saying i don't need them)...My life is mine and i would like to think That this show had some little part in making me see things differently.

IF your not from here

I live in san jose, ca. Santa cruz county is about 20 mins away and it on fire....the smoke has made its way up here and its thick...barely breathable..you would think the neighbors house is on fire......eery...sad...was is done or is it naural?

In dire need of some work

Im a makeup artist but im freelance!! I need work cause im broke...well im not really trippen cause as long as i have my 39.95 in my account for my monthly pass...but anywho if anyone needs their makeup done for an event let me know...im cheap!..not in that way..okay maybe!! lol jk

todays wi

lost 0.8 so im uber happy and im still cruchin on the starbucks guy

Tomarrow is judgement day

So i WI at 9 am tomarrow and im nervous...i really feel like im gonna gain this week...and if i do i will pick myself up and get back on track...There are stumbling blocks on my way but i will not fail i will prevail

Nervous about thursday mornings WI

I feel like i might gain this week...i stayed withing points but made aweful choices and it scares me...i know im not perfect but i am a perfectionist and i dotn want to go back only forward...i can deal with staying the same and losing would be amazing but i dont wanna gain

I was a CHOW MEINIAC!!

ITS ALL I ATE FOR 2 DAYS AND LAST NIGHT I FINALLY HAD TO THROW IT AWAY TO STAY AWAY..I KNOW ITS ONLY 4PTS FOR 1 CUP BUT STILL...IM SUPPOSED TO BREAK BAD HABITS AND I FELT LIKE IWAS STARTING TO SPIRAL!!...IN ALL REALITY I DONT EVEN LIKE THE STUFF THAT MUCH TO ME IT FEELS GREEZY..YES GREEZY...BUT I DUNNO IT WAS THERE AND SO WAS I.....SOMETIMES YOU THINK YOU HAVE COME SO FAR IN BEATING YOUR DEMONS AND WHEN YOU HIT A STUMBLING BLOSK IT BECOMES VERY CLEAR AS TO HOW FAR YOU HAVE TO GO.

dont gotta worry your locked in tight

ok so i told yall last week about the 2 crushes i have coming to my moms partay....Well one showed and For the first time in 4 years i didnt feel anything otehr than "aww he really is one of my best friends"..and to be honest it felt good not to be hung up on him anymore and the other one is clueless and doesnt deserve my time..i got my eyes on the startbucks red head....ill write more about him on thursday!!

Got my mind made up

Sometimes people say hurtful things and either apologize or dont and sometimes people say them wehn their drunk and for them that means a get out of jail free card..NOT THIS TIME...what you said hurt my feelings...yes...you cant take it back..but even more than that what your doing is breaking my heart.

It went well

So my moms party went off without a hitch ...we had a good group not too huge after all. I got some really lovely compliments on my hostessing skills and as suprising as it was i got some great reactions to my weight loss so far..people who havent seen me in some timewere quite suprised over how i have changed so far. I got a little tipsy which usually sint my style but i said what the heck...i did well and stayed within my point which was good ....im excited for the weeks ahead with so much going on!

TODAYS WI AND NSV

Another 5.8 this week...feels amazing and the hot red head guy at stabucks was totally flirting with me today

almost 10 pm

Sitting here looking like a homeless girl..pondering why im still single....I whole heartily believe that i choose to be by myself....I have seen so many fucked up relationships and in all honesty i tend to sabotage mine....i always find something wrong and blow it way out of proportion...I have dumped guys for the dumbest shit... I have been through the ringer with guys and i guess now i am doing the old "get them before they get you" thing and its dumb. I want someone, i need physicality and the whole booty call/ friends with benefits thing isnt working for me anymore..im sick of liking unavailable men and Im sick of going to bed alone every night...i miss the closeness of having someone and the sex but most of all i miss the butterflies. Le Sigh

Starbuckies

So i was part of a poll last week talking about the craziest place you have "done it" and I laughed my ass of because it reminded me of my Starbucks incident. I was at Starbucks enjoying my latte and in walks my ex and the girl he cheated on me with and was then dating....He saw me..gave me a hug.. introduced me and i went on my way...sitting there i was boiling thinking about what a fucking twat this girl was..she knowingly took him from me..she had no problem fucking him while i was with him..So while she was ordering i motioned him over to the bathroom and well use your imagination..all while she waited for her caramel frap! It was a mix of emotions...good because i was getting revenge and giving her a taste of her own medicine and bad because i knew that an eye for an eye is no way to live....but at the end of the day i wouldn't change a thing....or the Smile on his face...She still has no idea what happened in that bathroom.....he still calls me to this very day

Tired and worried about tomarrows WI

Having a long day..went and ordered the food and got almost everyhting i need for saturdays big fiesta...only a couple things left to get...WI is tomarrow morning...the way this week has gone woth food i am praying i just stay the same...i didnt go crazy but i ate shit i shouldnt have..a loss would be phenominal and much appriciated but if i just stay the smae this week i will be happy and confident fro my moms party...most of the people coming havent seen me since i have lost the 62.2 lbs and im excited to see their reactions. Any loser vibes yall can muster ..send em my way!

Weekly Music Recomendation

I have decided that each week im gonna drop some knowledge on you...I will give my weekly music recomendation

This week: Santogold...awesome My 4 faves are: L.E.S Artistes, Shove it, Creator (which some of you will recognize from the beer comercial), and Lights out
The entire album if Magic!

Stressin

Ok so this saturday is the big day...ive been planning fro months and now its just about here...My moms 50th bash! i have so much left to do...still have to order the food, pick up all the cutlery and plates and drinks andstuff.....uggghhh its alot to do in a short amount of time..Le sigh

The ridiculousness that is the Miley Cyrus "controversy"

OK so there is this big controversy about the vanity fair photo spread of miley cyrus..people are saying its lude, and it makes her a bad influence..Lets get real people...if your kids are the age to be watching hannah montanna, then they shouldnt be looking at vanity fair in the first place....The girl looks gorgeous...covered with the exception of her back (i didnt know backs were sexual and lude..did you?), and with barely any makeup on.....I hate when people blame "the media" for the fact that their 12 yr old daughters wear booty shorts and tube tops....Dont blame Miley cyrus for your bad parenting skills!!
and while im here.. I find it disgusting that people are bashing a beautiful 15 yr old for taking artful and tasteful pictures for a world renound magazine, by arguably the greatest photographer of our time (annie lebovitz..(sp?) ), yet people are excepting and even glamorizing the fact that Jamie Lynn spears is 16 and PREGNANT.......What world are we living in?

the pitfalls of food and family

I went into todays festivities with the idea that i would stay within my points ...i did for the most part and im sure i over calculated to be safe but i know i overindulged for me...uggghhh im kinda mad at myself...i only used five weeklies but yeah....Le sigh

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's day...I have an amazing mom..she's borderline crazy but nonetheless AMAZING...To put her into words is really a feat unto itself..I'm told that Growing up we really had no money...my dad had worked for Lockheed martin but was laid off and my mom was the sole bread winner for over a year. We had no idea times were rough..every birthday and Christmas was full off all we could have wanted and more . I was aware that we weren't as wealthy as the kids I went to school, but I was able to wear what they were wearing and have the shoes and toys they had. Only now as an adult am I realizing how hard my mom worked to keep us afloat and dont know if i will ever trulyn be able to thank her enough. My mum is my bestfriend..i tell her everything..I dont know how many women are as lucky as i am.

Being an Atheist or Agnostic


watch
ZEITGEISTTHEMOVIE.COM
it changed my life

Uggghhhhh people annoy the shit out of me

Why cant people respect my wishes...its simple, if i say dont do that...DONT DO THAT!!...what part of dont do people not understand!?!?!?!?!?!

Lovin this song right now

Tu es Beau: by Yelle

Veux tu vraiment une reponseje ne sais pas sur quel tonje

dois te dire que t'es chouxmais pas mon style de garconet

pourtant mince je savaisque quand tu m'as accosteje

n'allais pas satisfaireton envie de me baisertu es beau

mais qu'est ce que t'es laidton sourire faux se lit sur tes levresje vois bien que tu es mal a l'aisetu n'es pas sur de ta position mal assis

sur ta chaisea tour de role tu tentes chaque techniquel'humour, l'autoderision, comme c'est mignon tu n'ai pas convaincu mais tu veux tellement

ma plastiqueje ne sais pas quoi te dire sinon que tu n'es pas fantastiquetu es beau mais qu'est ce que t'es laidton sourire faux se lit sur tes levresje

vois bien que tu es mal a l'aisetu n'es pas sur de ta position mal assis sur ta chaise

Rough translation:

Please a reponse hushed up really I do not know on which tone I must say to you that not my style of garcon and however slim is you cabbages, but I knew that when you have me dock I was

not going to satisfy your desire to kiss me you are nice but what is ugly to you,

your wrong smile reads on your levres I see definitely that you are wrong have ease you are not on your position

badly sat on your chair have tower of role you attract every technology humour, autoderision, as it is cute to you do not persuade

Do i speak french?

no but i love the song!

Download it!

LOve it!

I Think ZOZO is sick

My dog Zoe is actin a fool...shes keeps shaking her head and playing with her ear..maybe an ear infection or water...i gave her a bath thursday so that might have gotten some in there...ugghhh i cant afford to take her to the vet right now i am soooo broke. Le Sigh

Crushin Major

So i have this friend(no its not one of those stories)..well anyways, He has been my friend for a long time..We never seem to be on the same page, Im well aware of the fact that we like eachother but whenever im single he's not and whenever he is single im not...for some reason it never ads up but here we are both single and no one is making the first m0ve..i invited him to a shindig im throwing for my mom next week and I of course got the typical we'll see from him which is fine and there is no pressure, but i really do want to see him. I of course am a crush hooch and he will not be the only intrest in attendance..my crush of 3 years is gonna be there...cant even describe how excited i am...the thing is he really is one of my very best friends and while i have conceded to the fact that we will never be anything more than that i still get giggly and shit around him. Le Sigh

Today's WI

Brilliant!
I went into today's Weigh In with the slightest hint of trepidation. I had a .4 gain two weeks in a row and i was perfectly on program...So i headed in for what i felt was probably going to be a minimal loss if anything...now dont get me wrong, if I had lost just what i gained i would be seriously stoked . well i stepped on that scale and to my utter estonishment i lost..dun dun dun..4.6 lbs bringing my 22 week total to 62.6 lbs lost!..